A Little Sadism Never Hurt Anyone...

By Marky de Sade

Sadist. That's a pretty loaded word. Sadist brings to mind Hannibal Lecter, or that stupid puppet from Saw. Sadism, in our little world, has more of a resonance. One thing I can say about the fetish and BDSM community, is that we tend to be smarter than the average bear... or twink for that matter. What is a sadist, after all, if not one who enjoys inflicting pain? On the surface it seems horrific, but if we look just a little deeper, we can see that as with most things, absolute definitions are but mere signposts, buoys to indicate an area. The map is not the territory, as Korzybski said.

I am a sadist. I enjoy inflicting pain upon others, under certain circumstances. Sexually, I enjoy pushing the limits of the my partner's comfort zone. I love it when Catalina starts to fuck the pain. If I'm dripping wax, she thrusts to meet the pain. It's the same with flogging. It's both a way to connect with, and control, my partner. In my experience, I've found people who use the pain as a meditative focus (kudos to Lilwhip's wonderful article on subspace for that connection) as well as well as those who use that same sensation as an
escape... a way to be paradoxically both tremendously intimate and at yet arm's length.

There are some who crave pain, and use it to take them to a place where they find... what it is they need. I am close with some professionals who define themselves as sadists, when in fact they are among the most selfless and helpful people I've met. Sadist can be a badge of honor. I wear it well. Dommes and Doms can agree on this, I believe. There is great responsibility in
sexual hurting.

The switches among us can relate from either side of that abyss of surrender. It's the surrender that is, for me, the Art in my actions. Like a hunter tracking a wounded elk, the Dom/me is focused entirely on the prey. Both hunter and Dom/me wait for that golden moment when the struggle is over. Surrender, acceptance of the inevitable. In my case the inevitable is the release that is cathartic; that leap of faith when the last fingertip is pried from the ledge and she falls. It's my job to catch her, as it should be with all Dominants.
Just because I'm a sadist doesn't mean I'm evil. Mean? Yeah, for sure. Most of the time that energy is channeled into humor, and gregariousness, but when that switch is flipped, and that diffuse alpha energy becomes the focused beam of the Dom, then you'd best be very, very quiet. I'm hunting wabbits.

-Marky de Sade