Discipline and Punishment

By Catalina

Normally when I write about discipline and punishment, I am writing from a submissive point of view, from the perspective of being disciplined or spanked.  Today it's a little different.  Today I'm writing as Miss Catalina.  You see, I am also a professional dominatrix and from time to time, discipline and punishment is the focus of a session.  Let's be clear that discipline and punishment can and do intersect, but are not the same path.  Discipline stems from learning while punishment is negative reinforcement when that learned behavior is not performed as expected.

As a domme, I expect to teach my submissives something at each session we have.  Sometimes that goal is set together and sometimes it is my decision, but ultimately it's like being a parent and teaching lesson after lesson.  In the beginning it's about molding your submissive into who you want him (or her) to be - training.  As the relationship matures, so does the level of discipline.  When the expected reaction or result does not occur, sometimes it's time to consider punishment as a negative reinforcement. Afterall , it is safe to assume that had they done what you asked, they would have been rewarded with positive reinforcement, as their primary goal should be to please you.  Much like in my parenting style, I prefer to reward rather than to punish as adomme.  Here the lines can blur, as a spanking can be a reward or a punishment depending on the context, no?

As a dom/me, you have to be very in tune with the submissive to know exactly what their currency is.  Find the magic item and hold it over their head.  For my favorite submissive, Max, this is purely psychological.  To him, the worst punishment he can endure is to lose contact with me.  Therefore, the first privilege he loses when he is out of line is contact with me.  I know it drives him insane that I don't contact him for one week, no email, no text, no nothing.  And if he contacts me, or tries to, it only starts over.  So why would he do this to himself?  There is something in his psyche that enjoys being deprived of that which he craves so desperately, my attention.  I think he does sometimes do the bratty sub thing just to bring on the punishment, but in the end he finds that he wishes he hadn't.  The last time he was disobedient to me, I ended our session right then.  I stood up and pushed him back onto the bed and walked toward the door.  The look of surprise on his face told me that he immediately regretted not doing as I had asked, and doing it immediately.  He fell to the floor and begged and pleaded on his knees, "Please, Miss Catalina, don't leave.  I promise that I will do whatever you tell me to with a willing spirit." (This is one of my basic rules, do as you are told to do, immediately, and with a willing spirit.)  As I walked out the door with him literally pulling at my leg like a child, I kicked him away and said, "Perhaps next time you will obey without these games," and I walked out.

Aside from the psychological sadism that I utilize for punishment, I sometimes resort to physical punishment, as well.  For certain submissives there are very clearly defined rules and if those rules are broken, there are very clear punishments that are outlined.  For me, impact play, nipple torture, cock and ball torture, and hot wax play are possible rewards or punishments.  A submissive of mine who is very into spanking is clearly rewarded with spankings and canings when he has done as asked and is denied the pleasure of the pain as punishment when he has not held up to my expectations.  On the other hand, one submissive of mine will do anything to avoid having hot wax dripped on his balls and cock and another begs for it.  Another method I use as punishment is chastity.  Some people have so clearly been selfish in our scene and are really only interested in their own interests that they need to be taught patience and generosity.  For short-term punishment this means that my lovely submissive will not be allowed the sweet joy of release with his Mistress.  If his selfish behavior continues, then a chastity device is purchased and used to ensure that I am getting what I want. 

Ultimately I will win, every time, and this is the lesson - this is the discipline - that I am reinforcing each and every time I punish one of my submissives . There will be only one Dominant and one submissive in this relationship, and I guarantee you, in this context, I will never be the one to submit.

-Catalina